


Broken Glass and Flat Lines

by I_glitterz



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Hospital, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-21
Updated: 2011-09-21
Packaged: 2017-10-23 22:36:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/255816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_glitterz/pseuds/I_glitterz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He should have been there to protect him, it might have saved him in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Glass and Flat Lines

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written a death fic before, so please, go easy on me :)

_He knew he should have switched buses at the last stop. It would have happened differently. He probably could have saved him then._

All he could hear was the metal colliding with the ground, the glass breaking, and the tires screeching and exploding from the impact of the second flip. All he could think was, _Oh, god! Let him be okay_.

When their bus came to a stop, the first thing Tommy did was run to the door, fling it open and step bare foot onto the side of the highway where the band’s bus laid on its side behind him. He watched as it tipped and rocked lightly, then stilled until the crashing of a window was heard.

“Adam?” Tommy yelled, coming up to what used to be Adam’s bedroom window.

The first thing Tommy saw was the crack in the window. The next was the blood that stained it. His eyes filled with tears when he didn’t get an answer back. He brought his fist back and slammed it into the already broken window, creating a space where he could look inside. The bed was toppled over, Adam’s clothes spewed everywhere, but no Adam.

“Adam!” Tommy yelled, but was still returned with the piercing silence.

Tommy started trying to climb through the window, but big arms wrapped themselves around him. “You can’t do that. It’s okay, it’s okay,” Monte whispered into Tommy’s ear as he tried to fight to get to Adam. The only thing going through his mind was that his Babyboy was hurt and needed him.

“Let me go! He needs me! He needs me!” Tommy struggled. His chest was tight, an ache forming where his heart used to be, when Isaac and Cam came out with Adam.

Tommy wiggled free of Monte’s hold and bound towards them, helping Isaac and Cam lay Adam on the ground.

“Baby? Baby, look at me, come on, look at me. you’re gonna be alright. You have to be alright. I’m here, Adam, god, I’m here,” Tommy whispered, holding Adam’s face while he watched the blood trickle from the gash on his forehead.

When Tommy moved one of his hands to Adam’s neck, sliding down to place his palm over Adam’s heart, he almost choked on a sob. He felt nothing; anywhere. His mind went blank, the tears fell, but all he could do was push harder, _feel_ harder.

“Don’t do this to me! Please, Adam! You can’t leave me, baby! Please, fuck, just please hold on, baby,” Tommy whispered out through hitched breath and choked cries.

A hand rested on his shoulder and he jerked back, looking up to see a paramedic smiling sadly at him. “Son, we’ve got this. Please, come on, we’ve got this.”

They pulled a yelling and enraged Tommy from Adam’s body. He couldn’t let them touch him; that was his. He should have been there to protect Adam. Could have stopped whatever came in contact with his head.

“Stop it, Tommy! There’s nothing you could have done,” Monte said. “Stop fighting with them!”

Tommy shook his had, staring at the guys working on his lover; his best friend. “I should have been there. I could have been there to protect him. He needed protection.”

Monte sighed, wrapping his arms around Tommy as they watched the paramedics put Adam’s body in the back of the ambulance. Tommy untangled himself from Monte and walked towards the guys he’d talked to earlier.

“Can I... Can you let me ride with him, please? Please?” Tommy begged, pleading with himself entirely.

The paramedic looked at him and then sighed. “I’m not supposed to do this, but come on.” He helped Tommy up and Tommy rushed to Adam’s side, thanking the guy and grabbing Adam’s hand.

He watched as they put an IV in Adam’s arm, giving him fluids and medical things Tommy didn’t know of; hooking him up to a machine. Tommy heard the slow beeps signaling that Adam had a heartbeat; however faint it was.

“You’re gonna get through this, baby,” Tommy whispered, not caring who heard him.

The truck started moving and Tommy held onto Adam’s hand the whole way to the hospital, speaking to Adam and telling him that everything would be alright.

When they reached the hospital, Tommy was told to let go of Adam’s hand, and when he did, he was escorted out of the truck. He stayed to the side as they brought Adam’s body out on a stretcher and pushed him into the hospital; Tommy close behind them.

Inside, the medical personal told Tommy to wait in the waiting room and he walked over, sat down on the seat, putting his head in his hands, trying to calm his breathing and _think_. He needed to call Adam’s family, needed to call Leila, but all he could do was sit there and wait.

The band and dancers arrived a few moments later, walking towards Tommy. They all sat down in a huddled circle, holding each other while Tommy sat back and stared at the ground. He kept playing the crash over in his head, the bus flipping; he could practically hear the feared screams of the band. He should have been on that bus. He wanted to be in that room instead of Adam.

His heart ached at what could happen. _Adam could die_ ; no, Tommy wouldn’t think like that. Adam was strong, he could get through this.

"Has anyone called Leila?” Sasha asked.

“I did. She and my dad are on their way,” Neil said, his usual sarcastic tone seemed on edge.

Tommy couldn’t blame him. He and Neil were laughing and joking when they heard it; the crash that could possibly change their lives forever.

Tommy sighed wholeheartedly, “Oh, god! I should have been there. Why wasn’t I there?” he said shakily, his voice wavering; all the hurt and devastation he felt in those few words.

Everyone tried comforting him, but all he wanted was Adam’s arms around him, his baby’s voice in his ear telling him how much he loved Tommy, how they’d be together, how he loved feeling Tommy against him.

“He’s going to be okay, Tommy,” Isaac said. His wounds weren’t bad. Just some minor cuts and bruises like Cam and Monte.

Tommy choked on his tongue, swallowing hard. “How do you know?” He asked thickly, his voice turned to syrup.

Before Isaac could answer, a doctor came up to them. “Who can I speak to about Mr. Lambert?”

“His mother isn’t here, but his brother is,” Monte said nodding to Neil who’s face as Tommy watched, went ghost white.

Neil stood and walked with the doctor and Tommy watched as he saw emotion after emotion play across Neil’s face like a book. None of them of relief. Tommy became more nervous as he watched the doctor place a hand on Neil’s shoulder and Neil nodding his head. A few moments later, Neil walked back to the group and sat down, grabbing Tommy’s hand in his.

“What did they say?” Terrance asked.

Tommy watched as Neil swallowed. “They said, they had to revive him twice, that he’s lost so much blood and had internal bleeding they’re trying to stop. He has a few broken ribs, a broken arm, and stitches on his forehead and up his arm from a deep laceration,” Neil said. “But, they said he’s in ICU right now trying to recover.”

Tommy’s heart did one of those sink, flip, skip, and crash sort of things in his chest and he squeezed Neil’s hand so hard, it turned his knuckles white.

Adam was going to be okay. That was all Tommy wanted. “When can we see him?” Tommy asked.

“Not for a few hours, he’s unconscious right now, but the doctor assured that he’d be awake soon, and in severe pain.”

Tommy started shaking, his nerves getting the better of him. Tears streaming down his face, he felt Neil wrap him in his arms. “He’s okay, Tommy.”

Tommy quietly cried into Neil’s neck. “Oh god! I almost lost him! Fuck, I almost lost him!” Tommy cried a little harder, that ache still there.

“Where is he?” Everyone turned to see a flushed Leila and Eber quickly making their way towards them.

“In ICU, the doctor said he’s fine,” Neil said.

“Oh, thank god! I was so scared!” Leila sighed in relief, sitting next to Tommy. She turned and looked and him. “Oh, baby.” She grabbed Tommy from Neil and hugged him tightly. A mother’s touch warmed his heart, but that ache still remained there.

He’d stopped crying but he was sure he looked pale and ready to vomit up his insides.

Leila asked them all if they were hungry and everyone agreed to go to the cafeteria since they knew Adam was doing alright and resting. When they got there, they grabbed food and headed to a table, sitting down and taking about the last show and how Adam was singing and almost fell off stage. They did their best to try little jokes, but no one was in the mood to laugh.

Tommy didn’t eat; too worried about Adam and wanting to see his baby. He picked at his nail polish while the others talked about the tour and saying they were going to call their families.

When they were all done, they headed back to the waiting room to see when they’d be able to visit Adam.

“Mrs. Lambert?” Someone, a new doctor, walked towards them.

Leila stood up, pulling Tommy, who pulled Neil, with her. “Yes? That’s me,” Leila said, squeezing Tommy’s hand. “Can we see him now?”

The doctor nodded. “Yes, but not all of you at once. We can take four at the most for now.”

Leila said that she, Neil, Eber, and Tommy would go and then the band and dancers could see him next. They followed the doctor through hallway after hallway and door after door.

Tommy was getting anxious. He wanted to see Adam and see him now. When they came to a glass door, the doctor turned to them and said, “When we go in and open the curtain, you may not recognize him. It’ll be hard to see him like that, but just know that he’s alive and --” a beeping sound stopped the doctor from explaining any further and when they all looked down the hall, they saw three nurses running their way. The doctor opened the door and the nurses rushed in alongside the doctor.

Tommy became nervous. He let go of Leila’s hand and rushed into the room, hearing, “We’re losing him! Get a mask in here, stat!”

Tommy saw one of the nurses run out of the room and another pumping against Adam’s chest, another checking the heart machine which showed the line going flat. This beep rang out as clear as day and Tommy’s heart stopped. No heartbeat.

He rushed through all the nurses and pushing them away when they tried stopping him, taking a hold of Adam’s shoulders and crying out, “Adam! Baby, please! You’re fine! The doctor said you were fine!! Come back, please!”

“We need to try resuscitating him,” the nurse behind him said while someone arrived with the shock paddles Tommy had only ever seen on TV. They charged them up, pulled Tommy back, and set one close to Adam’s heart, and another by his side.

“Clear!” Adam’s chest rose and fell, the monitor still reading a flat line.

“Nothing! Again!” A nurse shouted.

“Clear!” Adam’s chest rose again, but still no heartbeat.

“Adam. please! Don’t do this! Please, you’re so strong, pull through for me, baby!” Tommy wailed, Leila grabbing him from the nurse and holding him tight while they both cried, hoping Adam would come back.

They kept trying, but the line stayed flat and Tommy’s heart stopped with it when the doctor turned to them, sweat covering his brow, and said, “I’m so sorry. We did all we could.”

Tommy shook his head and pulled out of Leila’s arms, gathering up Adam in his own. “No, no, no, please, Adam. Please, don’t go! I need you, baby, please! I love you! I love you so much!” Tommy begged. He squeezed Adam tightly and cried into his neck, begging with broken sobs for Adam to come back, but it was no use. He was gone and Tommy could feel it in his heart that his Babyboy, his everything laid unmoving, still, no life on the hospital bed.

He knew he should have switched buses at the last stop. It would have happened differently. He probably could have saved him then.


End file.
